People who think plastic surgery is the answer to looking awesome

It's not.









































Tankard rating: Four glass tankards.

Which would cause damage necessitating more plastic surgery, which is somehow ironic. Now the Captain's all confused... garn.

Captain Poopey at age 60

Plain embarassing, for all concerned. Rock on Grandpa Poopey!

Tankard rating: Four rocking Fender tankards

Gnaar.

Extreme testicle separation

I don't go to festivals anymore. This is probably one of the reasons why.


Tankard rating: Two glass tankards

One aimed slightly lower than the other - gaarn.

"My Other Car Is A Boat" spare wheel covers

By definition, your other car should be another car you fucking bogan. You don't see Captain Poopey with a "My Other Boat Is A Car" deck cannon cover aboard the good ship Saucygibbon do you? Thought not. Gaaaaaaaarn (angry garn).

Tankard rating: Six stainless steel tankards

"My Other Tankard Is A Glass Tankard". Gnaar.

Russell Brand

Does Russell think he's:

a) Freddy Mercury
b) Brian May
c) He should have been a member of 'The Darkness'
d) A cockney chimney-sweep born 150 years too late

What a boorish cunt.


Glass rating: One large glass carboy of rock 'n roll mouthwash.

Yes, I saw Ponderland the other night and it was shiteful. Gaarn.

Corym's Guest Glassing: Flame Shirts

Q: Do I look like a tool in this shirt?

A: Yes, you do.



<- Notable exception: Mrs Poopey is a rabid BTTF fan, so this particular shirt is deemed 'acceptable'.





Tankard rating: One atomic tankard.

Even the most flame-resistant flame shirt stands no chance!

Ha ha!!! Gnaaar.

Misguided Satanists

What a dur-head. Beelzebub would not be amused!

Tankard rating: Four tankards of holy water

!nraG .uoy sevol nataS

CDs released 'just in time for Mothers Day'

This Sunday, if you love your mum and she's on the right side of 80, show that you care by not giving her any of these awful fucking cds. She will much prefer those flowers and bucket of lovingly-organised KFC that you and dad hit the drive-thru for. Honestly.


Crystal rating: Three crystal flower arrangements.

Happy Mothers Day Mum!

Whatever is going on here

Umm, oookay?

Tankard rating: Two glass tankards

I'm baffled... gnaar.

Superheroes stealing my beers

I'll get you Spidey if it's the last thing I do...

Glass rating: One six pack of Coronas

Have a choice weekend peoples - gnnaar.