Cats that look like Hitler

Tinkles here has that look in his eye. Like he wants to annex the Sudetenland - know what I mean?

Tankard rating: Three Deutsche Uber Alles tankards

Sieg-Garn! Sieg-Garn!! Sieg-Gaarn!!!

The Thompson Twins

Die!

Tankard Rating: Four 'please don't reform' tankards.

Gnaar.

Puff Daddy aka Puffy aka Diddy aka P.Diddy aka Gaylord Chocolate Drop

Poor ol' Diddy's been bitchin' bout havin' to schlub it wit da poor peeples on regular commuter flights 'cause he can't afford to fuel his private jet no more. Seems flying between N.Y. & L.A. to "further his acting career" is proving a tad expensive what with his fellow Americans using up every last skerrick of oil for their 4-ton SUVs and driving the dayum price up y'all. Adding insult to injury, a local news bureau decided to do some background checks with the private jet companies and it turns out that none are registered in any of Diddy's fourteen different names. He was only timesharing a jet with lotsa other people! In your face Diddy! Ha!!

Serves him right for shitting all over Led Zep's 'Kashmir'. Gaylord.

Tankard Rating: Five 'direct from Milan' leather tankards.

What's he gonna do? Put out a contract on the oil companies??

Freddy Mercury's Cat

Isn't it ironic that the only pussy Freddy enjoyed was the four-legged variety? Rock and roll!!


Tankard rating: Four Fender Tankards

'don't stopme now... I'm havin' a good time!!'

Kirsten Dunst (part deux)

I wish that this fugmonster would disappear. Or at least put a bra on. Perhaps a paper bag would make for a happy compromise, but then again she wouldn't be able to act her way out of it. Curse your black heart Snaggletooth!

Tankard rating: Four 'walking dead' tankards.

Decapitation is the only way to be sure.

The U.S. Democratic Circus

I'm fucken over seeing these arseclowns every night on the news. It's been going on for fucking ever, will it ever end? At least Hillary's fug arse has sort of left the building, but geez Louise - c'mon people, you might as well hand it over to McCain (you've done it again). There's no way they'll give it to a (sorta) black man in a thousand years, even if Oprah gets on the bandwagon. What a total waste of fucking time.


Tankard rating: One atomic tankard

Yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaa! Garn.

Quitters

Poor old Droopy Dog didn't get his way by selling off OUR fucking power infrastructure, and therefore couldn't find any other way to scrape together the dollars needed to bandaid the State back into some sort of operational status. You're a fucken quitter Morris. Hope you enjoy your new job at Macquarie Bank (not to mention your fat pension) with all the other rich cunt ex-politicians who've rorted us taxpayers. Where did all that tax money go huh? Oh, that's right - on a completely useless and ineffective tier of government. Wake up Australia...

Glass rating: Ten items of mixed glassware

Wheel in the next bunch of fuckwits please.

Metro Station

Yesterday's paper: "win a chance to meet Metro Station".

Um, no thanks. They look really fucking gay.

Tankard rating: Four glass tankards

That's one per emo - get in line boys. Gnnar.

Lesbian Panda Bears

No wonder they're becoming extinct.

Glass Rating: Two Panda Pitchers

Tish tish gaarn.

Kid Rock

Two reasons:

a) Crimes against classic rock.

b) Crimes against my optic nerves.

Leave that song alone, you're not a member of Skynyrd assbadger.


Tankard Rating: Four Fender Tankards

and hopefully a midair emergency. Gaarn.

Katie Milligan

Wait, what? You're taking him back? Talk about tough love baby.

To paraphrase Garth, "If you glass a babe and she comes back, she's yours."

Don't say we didn't warn you you big silly...


Glass Rating: Two Romantic Glasses of 'Loveblind Valley' Pinot Noir

Gnarrrr.